Change Your Life | Rock the World

I get a lot of questions from people who have visited this site asking me something along the lines of “I know I need to make a change, but how do I get past my fears?”

Of course, that’s simplifying the various questions and comments I get into one short sentence, but that’s the basic thought behind them all. And the answer can be broken down into one sentence, as well: In order to feel confident, you just need to see a little success.

But, of course, that’s easier said than done. It requires work, and a lot of steps, and some resilience to get there.

So where do you start? At the beginning, duh.

You start from step number one, which is always the most important step. For most of us, once we get started, we’re able to keep going, but before we’ve started, the long road ahead can be intimidating when viewed as a whole.

So, as I’ve said many times before, it’s important to have a plan with realistic goals that can be achieved in a realistic amount of time along the way. And that means that you have to take the time to write it down. Don’t try to remember it all in your head, because inevitably, you’ll forget things and cause yourself stress.

And here’s a helpful tip: be sure to keep track as you go, and check off each step as you complete it. This way, you’ll see those small improvements that are made that you might otherwise miss. And you’ll have a list that you can use to refer back to and see the progress that you’ve made so far.

That will inspire you, and in a nutshell, give you the confidence you need to keep going. As that confidence grows, your fear of change and your fear of the unknown will fade. It only makes sense, since the things that you’ve accomplished will no longer be unknown. I know, the logic is astounding.

Have you ever seen the movie What About Bob? In it, Richard Dreyfuss plays a psychiatrist who teaches Bill Murray (and everyone else) to take ”baby steps” as he tries to get over his obsessive behavior. Of course, they play it for laughs, but the point behind it is sound. You can’t fix everything at once, so there’s really no need to be intimidated by the big job in front of you. All you have to do is take that next step, whatever it is. And then, when that step is finished, you can take the next step. By the way, that movie is really funny. I highly recommend it.

And keep in mind that failure is a good thing. Because it isn’t really failure as we’ve always known it. It’s an opportunity to improve. If you make a mistake along the way, then make sure to learn from it and do it better the next time. That’s how you get to be good at something, and getting to be good at something will build your confidence and ease your fears.

Think about anything you’ve ever done for the first time, which is everything you’ve ever done, by the way. Sure, you were a bit nervous at first because it was new and different, and you had no experience with it. But after doing it for a while, that nervousness disappears, and the belief that you can do it well grows, and continues to grow with more experience. Isn’t that true of most jobs you’ve had, or when you were learning to drive, or starting a new relationship, or probably even learning to walk?

You just need to see some success to start building confidence. The best part is that it becomes sort of an upward spiral. Take that first step. Complete it. Gain some confidence. Take the next step. Complete it. Gain more confidence. Take the next step, and so on up until you have all the confidence you need to continue to be successful.

Related posts:

1. The First Step is the Biggest
2. Let the Naysayers Ruin Their Own Lives
3. Winning Isn’t Everything
4. The Key to Getting Things Done
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Admit Your Faults