Change Your Life | Rock the World

Have you ever noticed how many people there are who don’t have the slightest idea about what they want in their lives? It’s pretty common, so you must have. I’ve met a lot of people who are very unhappy with their situation, and they want to change it, but they don’t because they don’t know what to change it to.

Now, of course, there’s no way to know everything that you’re going to want at all times, but it is important to know where you eventually want to be when all is said and done.

The funny thing is that most people seem to know perfectly well what they don’t want. I guess knowing what you don’t want is easy. Disliking things is easy. Trying something and saying “No. Not for me” is easy. But making a positive decision about what you do want is hard. So a lot of people don’t do it. Yes, it is good to have an idea about what you don’t want, but that only solves half of the problem.

Let me give you an example of how this can affect you. A few years back I quit a job that I worked at for 13 years. I was the assistant manager of a pretty large retail location in New York City. At first, I liked it a lot, but then at first, I was just a clerk who was still in college and expecting to get another job after I graduated. What job? Who knows.

I was studying music and figured I’d get a job at one of the record labels here in New York, or something like that. But I never really focused on getting the job I wanted. And the reason for that is because I didn’t know what job I wanted.

So I stayed where I was until I could figure it out. And then I stayed some more, because frankly, that was the easier option.

And to make matters worse, they promoted me. So now I had a new job to do, which was fresh and exciting at the time, so I concentrated on that for a while and put off any thoughts of working elsewhere.

Then they promoted me again a few years later, and then again a few years after that. So I stayed, and I made my way up to assistant manager of the store. And since it was a very large, important store in Manhattan that brought in a lot of money, there was a lot of responsibility and a lot of perks, as well.

So all of that was fine. And in fact, working hard and earning promotions is always recommended.

But there was one major problem with all of this: I didn’t like the job. Oh sure, I liked it at first, as I said. And I was glad to get these promotions, and each promotion brought a pay raise and new tasks, and was exciting for a little while. But with each position, I would eventually get into a rut. And I should point out that I applied for these new positions, so I don’t really have anyone to blame but myself.

The last position I held, the assistant manager position, I held for 9 years. 9 Years! And the longer it went on, the more sick of it I got. So I naturally got to complaining about it more and more. And the people I complained to would invariably ask me, “Well, what would you rather do?” And my answer was always the same. “I don’t know.”

And that was the truth. Oh sure, I understood the negative: I knew I didn’t want to work there anymore. But I hadn’t worked out the positive. I had no idea what I really wanted to do for a living. And that’s what kept me from ever looking for another job.

It got to the point where my wife told me that she couldn’t bear to see me leave for work everyday anymore, because of how depressed I was. She finally convinced me to quit, which I did.

So here’s the point: the most important thing that we all need when making a change is a clear focus on where we want to go and what we want to achieve. You’ll never get anywhere if you always say “I don’t know” to the important questions.

And keep in mind that your focus may change as you go. That’s perfectly fine, and perfectly normal. It’s even expected that you will discover new things and want to make some adjustments along the way. Your personal development has to be adaptable, or else you end up getting stuck in your ways again, and then you stop growing.

So, as always, my advice is to set out a clear plan for whatever it is you want to achieve, write it down, break it up into achieveable steps and time frames, and then gather together some willpower and take step one.

And make sure that you know where you want to be and what you want in life, not just what you don’t want.

Related posts:

1. It’s Always Easier to Complain
2. You’re Never Done Growing
3. The Top 5 Ways You’re Screwing Your Life Up
4. You’re Responsible for You
5. The Key to Getting Things Done