I’ve had the good fortune over the years to meet, and sometimes interview, a number of people who make their livings by helping others. People with jobs as teachers, social workers, doctors, drug and alcohol counselors, life coaches, therapists, etc.
And I’ve found one very important thing in common in all of them (at least the ones who do their jobs well): they know when to help, and they know when not to help.
OK, so maybe you’re thinking, “When not to help? But didn’t their clients come to them for as much help as is humanly possible?”
Well, yes. Sort of. They went looking for help, but they’re not going to find any if what they really want is for someone to take them by the hand and guide them through every step of their lives for them.
That just doesn’t work. And that’s why the people who get the most out of any type of coaching are the ones who are actually willing to take what they’ve learned and apply it, thereby taking some responsibility for their lives, and maybe – just maybe – learning to take care of themselves. Read more...
Somebody please explain to me why everyone is in such a goddamn hurry.
OK, not everyone. But I live in New York City, and it sure seems like everyone here – and in a number of other parts of the world – are constantly in one hell of a rush only about 100% of the time. I may be from New York, but I’m not sure if I behave like a typical New Yorker. At least not anymore.
Yes, I used to be that guy. Luckily, I got over it before it was too late and I had a heart attack from the stress. Which isn’t to say that I’m never running late, or that I never need to get a move on. Of course I do. But it happens a lot less often than it used to since I’ve learned to plan my time more effectively.
I don’t like being in a rush. I don’t like the indigestion I get from feeling like I’m going to be late. But more importantly, I feel like I’m missing something very important.
And that very important thing is whatever the hell I’m rushing past at the moment. Read more...
Last week, I wrote an article listing a few ways that we create more stress for ourselves than is really necessary that I think can be easily fixed. Well, of course there are always more ways to relieve stress than can adequately be covered in one article, so I’d like to focus on one more in particular today.
And here it is in one word: Simplify.
OK, here it is in more than one word: So many of us have a natural ability to over-complicate our lives by adding extra crap that we don’t need.
Let me explain. I’ve gone on at length about how helpful it is to get organized and get rid of the clutter from our lives. So I guess I’m not breaking any new ground here, but I want to get a little more specific, if I can.
You’ll often hear a lot of talk about the importance of being able to multitask, and I agree that it can sometimes be very necessary, but I don’t think that everyone really understands the definition of multitasking properly. Multitasking doesn’t mean doing all things at once. It means being able to manage multiple projects or tasks at once, but still working on one thing at a time and completing it. Read more...
I was looking through my Google Reader this morning to see what was going on in the world today, and I stumbled across an article, kinda by accident, about staying in balance when your life gets overloaded with the million things you have to do on a daily basis.
It’s on a website called ctwatchdog.com, which is actually for consumer protection in Connecticut, but here was this article staring me in the face. I read it and thought it would be a good idea to pass it along to everyone. It’s written by Cheryl Jones-Reardon.
Here’s the money shot:
“We need to make the shift from focusing on what’s wrong with life to focusing on what’s right with life. Every time you notice your attention being drawn to what isn’t going well, take a breath, and shift your attention to something that is working well.”
Very well said. Here’s the link to the full article:
http://ctwatchdog.com/2010/01/24/cheryls-tips-how-to-stay-in-balance
There’s also information about a teleclass that she’s having soon, so if you want to ask her some questions, that might be your shot.
Enjoy.
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